There's No Business Like Showbusiness
by SiFi270
Summary: Mikuru Asahina reluctantly lives the life of a beloved celebrity, until one day the pressure becomes too much for her and she runs away. She soon finds herself in deep trouble, only to be saved by Yuki Nagato, a person who soon turns out to be full of surprises.
1. Chapter 1

When Mikuru Asahina was young, she tended to find herself surrounded by people who dreamt of becoming famous when they grew up. Personally, she didn't see the appeal. She wasn't totally sure about where she wanted to go in life, but she knew she didn't want to be in a position that would get her too much unwanted attention.

When the famous gravure idol Mikuru Asahina looked back on those days, she would ask herself what happened, and the answer would come to her immediately: Haruhi Suzumiya happened.

Haruhi's specialty was finding talented people and bringing them into the spotlight where she felt they belonged. But throughout Mikuru's experience with stardom, she would continue to feebly insist that standing in front of a camera and looking pretty was not a talent, and even if it was, it wasn't one she had any interest in.

The complaints fell on deaf ears, and Haruhi would constantly insist that Mikuru looked on the bright side. As far as Haruhi was concerned, the bright side was practically the only visible side. How picky would someone have to be if they weren't satisfied with a life that earned them truckloads of money with minimum effort?

Mikuru never found herself agreeing with that sentiment, but she never seemed able to put a full counterargument into words. And so one day she decided: If she couldn't reason with Haruhi, her only remaining option was to run away. It took her weeks of planning and false starts, but on the night she finally went through with it, she didn't look back once.

But she wasn't exactly looking forward, either. She had no real destination in mind other than as far away from her former life as possible. When faced with multiple routes, she always tried to take the one that looked safest, but as the world around her grew darker and made her vision less reliable, the same became true for her judgment.

Mikuru was sure she'd passed multiple points of no return once she was in a shady looking city she didn't recognize. On the one hand, she was glad it wasn't so dark anymore, but on the other hand the neon lights surrounding her were making her very woozy. She figured at that point that the best thing to do was to find somewhere she could settle down without any hassle, but when she tried to call out to a group of people nearby, she felt her voice die out before it could make it past her lips.

Luckily, the group happened to notice her anyway.

"Well well well," the leanest of the group smiled unnervingly at her, "look what the Playboy Bunny dragged in!" He leaned slightly and nudged the person immediately to his left. "Doesn't she look just like one of those gravure idols from the magazines?"

The short recipient of the nudge nodded eagerly. "Oh, absolutely! She's a dead ringer for that Asahina girl!"

The largest of the group brought out a threatening pair of hands. "How about we take her someplace quiet and pretend it's really her?"

"Now there's an idea." The lean one's grin widened as he looked directly at Mikuru. "We can pretend all night long, and you're just the person to help jog our imaginations."

By this point, Mikuru's voice still hadn't returned, in spite of her growing urge to scream. She didn't suppose anybody who heard would feel inclined to help her, but it was all she could do. Or rather, it should have been all she could do, but even that was taken from her. She just wished that somehow, she could turn back time, or at the very least bring it to a-

"Stop."

Upon hearing that voice, the whole group froze completely, remaining completely static until Mikuru noticed the source of the voice appearing from behind them, like a ghost suddenly manifesting in the mortal world.

"It's Sankyo," one of the men murmured. "What's she doin' here?"

"It is not too late for you to make it through this night unharmed," said the newcomer. "You could still return home and pretend nothing out of the ordinary happened tonight. I shall give you all a moment to make your decision."

About a second and a half later, the whole group had fled, and Mikuru finally got a good look at her savior. It was a short girl with similarly short hair that appeared to be a curious shade of violet. While Mikuru certainly found her intimidating, she didn't really understand why the same would be true for the men she'd driven away with words alone. 'Sankyo' was most likely a nickname, but Mikuru couldn't begin to understand where it may have come from.

While she was still searching for her voice, Mikuru noticed the girl extending her hand. "Come with me," she said. "I know a place where you will be safe."

Mikuru could only nod, and even that required almost all of her remaining nerve. She didn't resist when the girl gently took hold of her hand and began to lead her elsewhere. Their destination turned out to be a small bar that Mikuru might never have noticed had she not been directed there. Judging by the sign, the place was run by someone nicknamed 'Kyon'. Did no one in this town want their real name known?

Kyon's bar looked like it saw enough business to stay afloat, but only barely. The first thing Mikuru noticed was a heavy looking crate near the entrance, which seemed to have been delivered and then immediately neglected by a procrastinating bartender. Speaking of whom…

"Morning, Nagato." From out of the back room came a man with a simple appearance; the kind given to the protagonist in a story so that most readers could identify with them. "I see you've…" He took another look at Mikuru and cleared his throat nervously. "...I see you've got company."

The girl, now identified as 'Nagato', nodded while gesturing for Mikuru to take a seat for the time being. "She is in shock, and so I brought her here in order to keep her safe."

"Well," Kyon chuckled, "really it's only safe because you're here. You could take her anywhere, give her time to recover, and she'd probably be good as new. But while you're here…" He looked towards the crate. "As much as I hate to constantly rely on you for this kind of thing, do you think you could take that box into the back room? My back's been killing me lately."

Without any comment, she walked back to the crate and, to Mikuru's surprise, she lifted the whole thing without a moment of struggling, as though it were an empty shoebox. It didn't even seem to slow her pace as she made her way to the back room. Mikuru kept her eyes on that door until she noticed Kyon approaching her with a glass of water, which she accepted, expressing her gratitude with a simple nod.

Drinking the water helped her find her voice again, but she didn't have much to say until Nagato returned from the back room and took a seat next to her. The first sentence to leave Mikuru's lips was a simple 'thank you', to which Nagato responded by telling her it wasn't a problem. There wasn't much conversation after that until Mikuru remembered one of the many questions she asked herself after losing her voice.

"Why did… why did those people call you 'Sankyo'?" She said.

"Because they think of her as a machine."

Mikuru was surprised to hear Kyon answer her question, mainly because she'd forgotten he was even there.

"They nicknamed her 'Sankyo' after the people who make music boxes," he continued, "because even though they see her as a machine, they can't deny she has a really good singing voice."

Mikuru couldn't hide her intrigue. This 'Nagato' girl, who had so far only spoken in total monotone, and never gave the slightest clue as to what emotion she may have been feeling, could sing? And well enough that her talent was incorporated into what was otherwise intended as a derogatory nickname for her? She was just full of surprises, it would seem.

"In fact," Kyon said, "more people come to this place to hear her sing than to buy drinks. She's basically the main reason I'm still in business." He looked at Nagato as if he'd noticed a change in her expression, but Mikuru didn't see anything of the sort. "I'm sorry, am I embarrassing you?"

"No," she said, but Kyon didn't seem to believe her. "I think I should be leaving now." She turned to Mikuru. "Is there somewhere you would like me to escort you to?"

"I…" Mikuru lowered her head. "I don't really have anywhere to go… I'd like to stay with you, but if that's too much of a hassle then I could…" She quickly realized that she couldn't think of a way to finish that sentence.

"I would certainly be willing to let you stay in my apartment," Nagato said. "There is a room other than my own in which you can sleep."

"Then I guess it's settled," Kyon said. "You both look like you need some rest, and I know I do. I hope to see you again tomorrow."

* * *

"You are Mikuru Asahina, are you not?"

Mikuru didn't really understand why Nagato had waited until they were alone to ask that, but she answered anyway. "Y-yes. How did you know?"

"While I was in the back room," she said, "I saw your photograph on the cover of a magazine." She neglected to mention that she owned many similar magazines herself.

"I see..." Mikuru blushed. "So that means you know more about me than I do about you..."

"If that is an issue," she said, "then my name is Yuki Nagato. And this is my apartment."

Once they'd entered, Mikuru was shown the room in which she'd be sleeping, but it didn't look to her like a guest room. There seemed to be a personal touch to it, but Mikuru wasn't sure who the person in question might have been.

"Does… does someone else live here?"

"At one point, there was somebody else," Yuki said. "But she is currently in prison."

"Oh…" Mikuru decided to not ask any more questions and get some sleep.

* * *

A/N: I worked on this on and off for a long dang time, and for most of that time I intended it to be a one-shot. In fact, I've already started on what I've only recently decided will be the next chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

When Mikuru awoke the next morning, she came to the conclusion that most if not all of her time with Yuki must have been a dream, because she seemed to be with more familiar company than she was the night before. Though no one was in the room with her, she heard the voice of a member of ENOZ, a band Haruhi had brought into the spotlight just as she did with Mikuru.

From the sound of it, she seemed to be rehearsing vocals, but the lyrics were from one of the band's most popular songs, so it seemed strange to Mikuru that she'd be trying to memorize the lyrics after already performing the song so many times. But on the other hand, Mikuru had never heard her sing quite like this before. Something about it was just so wonderfully enticing that Mikuru found herself getting out of bed just to offer her praise.

It wasn't until she opened the door that Mikuru recognized her surroundings, and she realized she was still in Yuki's apartment. Had someone come to bring her back? That was the only explanation that came to Mikuru, and even that didn't make sense to her. Why would anyone from ENOZ be there with (or rather than?) the kind of people normally sent to retrieve her from somewhere? By the time she finally reached the room the singing was coming from, Mikuru was finally able to make sense of the situation, but that didn't make it any less surprising.

Kyon was absolutely right, Mikuru realized. Or at least, as right as he could have been with words alone. Yuki's singing voice was so wonderful that it seemed to transform her into a completely different person from the aloof stranger who had saved her the night before. Mikuru had to wonder: was this a glimpse behind the mask Yuki wore?

"You sound incredible," Mikuru said, the words seeming to leave her mouth before she even heard them among her thoughts. Yuki was evidently just as surprised to hear them as she was, and it took her a couple of seconds to put the 'mask' back on.

"Th... thank you," she said. "Did you sleep well last night?"

By this time, Mikuru had finally worked out which of her memories had and hadn't been a dream. "...I think I slept as well as I could have, all things considered."

Yuki nodded understandingly. "I suspect that somebody has been sent to find you by now. Do you think they will find anything that will lead them here any time soon?"

"I... I don't know," Mikuru said. "I had a friend there who said she knew how I thought. I've seen more than once that she's right about that, so she might be able to figure out where I went, but... I don't suppose she knows whether I ran away or got kidnapped."

Yuki hesitated to ask her next question. "...If they found you, would you be willing to return with them?"

"I... don't know," Mikuru said just as hesitantly.

* * *

Many miles away, Itsuki Koizumi began his search for Mikuru with the help of the friend she'd mentioned: a popular comedian known as Tsuruya, who also happened to be the heir to the Tsuruya Conglomerate that owned Haruhi's talent agency. Itsuki was quite sure that Mikuru had been kidnapped, but Tsuruya wanted to wait until they had any definitive evidence of that before jumping to any conclusions.

"No offense, Miss Tsuruya," Itsuki said, "but being ready for the worst case scenario is an important part of my job. I hope she's okay just as much as you do, but I don't want to let that hope cloud my judgment."

"Well maybe I'm an optimistic fool," Tsuruya said, "but I'm an optimistic fool who knows Mikuru better than anyone else. I know she hated her job, and I know she was planning something."

"And this disappearance may have had nothing to do with either of those," Itsuki said. "Miss Suzumiya didn't give me this task because of my success in following hunches. She chose me so I could look at the facts. If you have any doubts about that approach, you can search on your own."

"Don't tempt me," Tsuruya said under her breath.

When the sun began to set, Yuki and Mikuru returned to Kyon's bar. Mikuru was eager to hear Yuki sing again, but Kyon apparently had something important to discuss with her in the back room while Yuki entertained the bar's other patrons.

"You must have a lot of questions about Nagato by now," he began. "I can tell you're too afraid to ask her directly, but you have a right to know what you're getting into by being with her, so I'll answer any question you have."

Mikuru pondered this for a moment. "...How long have you known her?"

This wasn't the first question Kyon was expecting, although on further consideration, that particular question would have been a rather blunt one to start with. "I think I was around fifteen at the time, so I guess that's... nearly ten years now?"

"I see," Mikuru said. "And during that time, has she always been so... reserved?"

Kyon sighed. "...Not during the first couple of weeks I knew her... but then things changed very suddenly." He looked at her apologetically. "...since you arrived, I've been trying to lead this conversation towards the incident responsible for that. But now I don't think I can talk about it."

The two spent the next two minutes in an awkward silence, but that silence was all Mikuru needed to put the pieces together. She wasn't completely sure she was putting them together properly and reaching the right conclusion, but they seemed to fit together nonetheless.

"She mentioned that she used to live with someone else," Mikuru said. "Do you know if they were friends?"

"They were," Kyon answered reluctantly, "and from a very early age, too."

"And that incident you mentioned," Mikuru said, "did that... have an effect on their friendship?"

Kyon barely managed a nod, causing Mikuru to realize that when he said he didn't want to discuss the incident, he _really_ didn't want to discuss it. Recognizing that the discussion was over, she stood up and left the room, arriving just in time to hear the very end of Yuki's song.

 _Well, that_ technically _could have gone worse,_ Kyon thought. _If I'd forgotten to hide those magazines, she might have... Okay that wouldn't have been much worse._

* * *

By the time Mikuru went to bed that evening, her curiosity had become a beast she couldn't control. She wished there was someone who could answer her many questions that she wouldn't always be so nervous around, but there was simply nobody who fit that description.

 _I'm sure I'm better off not knowing about this,_ she thought, _but if I don't find out I think I'll be asking for the rest of my life..._

That choice of words got her thinking again about what she'd do after she was finished staying with Yuki, which in turn lead to her wondering if there'd even be an 'after'. And so, she found one dilemma continuously distracting her from another until she finally fell asleep.

* * *

"Hey, don't shove so hard! I've been here before, I know my way around, thank you very much!"

A pair of sensitive ears twitched as the familiar voice drifted towards them through the prison bars. _That Person_ quickly stood to attention, eager to hear of a presumed encounter between this frequent visitor and Sankyo. There was _always_ a story about Sankyo.

"Of course I'd get caught _now_ of all times," the visitor said, speaking for no apparent reason other than so that _That Person_ could overhear. "Things were kind of looking up. Just last night, I met a girl that looked just like Mikuru Asahina. Even Sankyo must've been glad to see her, she didn't bother bringing me back here or anything."

The officer escorting him chuckled dismissively. "But you just had to restore the natural balance and get caught again. Hope you enjoyed your 'lucky day'."

 _That Person_ didn't hear anything more from them save for a bitter grumble from the one who'd been caught. But she didn't need to hear any more than that. One mention of Sankyo was enough to satisfy her, but the other name mentioned got her really excited.

"Mikuru Asahina?" She licked her lips. "In a town like this? Well, Yuki... it sounds like your fantasy has finally come true."

* * *

A/N: So on Friday I'm expecting to get home from my vacation, double-check the book I was referencing in that last segment, and sink into despair upon realizing I failed to reference it word-for-word.


	3. Chapter 3

Mikuru didn't hear Yuki practicing when she woke up the next morning, which came as a disappointment to her. But when she approached the breakfast table, she noticed that Yuki was sitting in front of a laptop and had apparently been waiting for her.

"Last night, somebody recorded my performance," Yuki said, "and afterwards I asked them to send it to me. I was hoping to show it to you so that you might offer any opinions you may have."

Mikuru eagerly accepted and sat down to watch the video. Even though it had been filmed on a relatively cheap phone in a room with no soundproofing, she couldn't help but feel as though she'd been sent back in time so she could enjoy the show while her other self spoke with Kyon in the back room.

When the video finished, it was clear that Mikuru was very impressed; even more so than when she'd heard Yuki practicing the morning before. But there was just one issue she had with it, and it took a lot of confidence to bring up that issue.

"When you're singing," she said, "I hear a lot of emotions, which is good… but I'm not really _seeing_ them. I think… for example, when you're singing a happy song like that one… I think it would help a lot if you smiled while you were singing it. It'd make you look more attrac-" Her hand quickly covered her mouth before slowly returning to the table.

Yuki stared blankly at Mikuru for a while, causing her to immediately regret what she'd said. When Yuki realized the effect the stare was having, she decided to turn away, which unfortunately still gave Mikuru the impression that her criticism was unwelcome.

"I see," Yuki finally said. "Please excuse me while I look into this."

She then disappeared into her bedroom for the rest of the morning, leaving Mikuru with nothing to do during that time other than fret. When noon finally arrived, Yuki returned carrying a magazine Mikuru only briefly glimpsed before Yuki sat down with it.

"Having had some time to think about it," she said, "I now understand your point very clearly." She turned the magazine to a certain page and moved it to where Mikuru was sitting, allowing her to finally see that it wasn't just any magazine, but a magazine claiming to have gathered the best photos of her available into one issue.

It was easy to tell what Yuki wanted her to look at, because each page consisted almost entirely of one image. The page on the left showed her looking completely horrified (or, as the caption put it, 'so adorably nervous you just want to hug her and hug her and hug her') in a particularly skimpy outfit, while the one on the right showed her managing a smile, signifying her relief that for once she'd been put into something rather modest.

"I have compared these photographs very thoroughly," Yuki said, "and I must confess that I prefer the one on the right, largely because of your smile. Just as you said, it can make you more attractive." She suddenly felt the same sensation Mikuru had presumably felt when she'd used that same word. "...I meant to use a rhetorical 'you' in that sentence. But even so… I feel that you could easily be the definitive example."

Mikuru felt a strong blush. "I… I wouldn't be so sure. Most photographers tell me it doesn't matter what kind of expression I have, because most people buy those magazines for my body rather than my face. But with you, I think it could really make a difference. Even if it's just a little… I'd like to see you smile. I think... if you did, it'd look more beautiful than all the pictures I've been in."

After processing her words, Yuki found herself unconsciously granting Mikuru's wish, albeit with emphasis on the 'just a little' part. She only became aware of the change when she noticed Mikuru's awed reaction to it, at which point she stopped abruptly.

"I am sorry," she said. "I will not be doing that again."

Mikuru gasped more loudly than she'd intended to. "Why not?"

"I felt as though I was lying to myself," Yuki said, "or trying to be someone I cannot and should not be."

Before Mikuru could query further, Yuki stood and left the room, leaving her in a similar state to how she'd been the last time she was alone in there.

* * *

Kyon could tell as soon as she entered that Mikuru had more questions for him. Once they were in the back room, she got straight to the point.

"You've known Yuki well enough to read her emotions, right?" She said.

"Usually," Kyon said. "But today, I've been having some trouble with that for some reason. Why?"

"I was just wondering," Mikuru said, "if you could remember a moment where you might say she was the happiest you'd ever seen her, or something along those lines."

"Oh, that's easy." He chuckled slightly. "I remember it like it was yesterday… because it was, very early in the morning."

Mikuru looked confused.

"It's when she arrived here with you," he said. "I think she'd always wanted to meet you. For most of her life, nobody seemed to me like more than a casual acquaintance to her, but sometimes I'd catch her with a picture of you…" He cleared his throat. "Not like _that_ , but… the point is it seemed like she could only be herself in front of those pictures."

The words 'be herself' reminded Mikuru of what Yuki had said about lying to herself and trying to be someone she shouldn't be. It seemed that both Kyon and Yuki herself had conflicting ideas as to who the 'real' Yuki was, but which of them was right? When Mikuru saw Yuki practicing the previous morning, she assumed that this was Yuki without the mask, but looking at it the other way around seemed to make just as much sense. The emotional range heard in Yuki's singing could just have been her way of fitting in.

Mikuru left the bar that night with even more questions clouding her mind than the night before. Yuki was becoming more and more of an enigma, and that was only making it more tempting for Mikuru to try and solve that enigma. She was sure that the incident with Yuki's roommate was the key to it all, but she couldn't just ask about that. She needed to find a starting point and work towards it from there.

* * *

"Bingo!" Tsuruya said proudly. "It's just like I said. Once you've figured out her starting point, the rest of the way is practically a straight line with like a zillion neon lights at the end!"

Itsuki forced a smile and shrugged. "Your reasoning's been pretty convincing so far, but if you're going to be proven wrong about this, that moment can't be far now. On the other hand, if you're right, then that means we could be home by tomorrow morning… and after this past day or so, that's definitely something I can look forward to."

Tsuruya smirked. "And _that's_ why optimism is so much fun. Come on, I'm sure we can just ask the cops if they've seen someone who looks like Mikuru. She really stands out!"

* * *

Itsuki was surprised to recognize the chief of police as someone he recognized from high school. He didn't remember the name, only that he was the Student Council President. But Itsuki already had a lot of experience when it came to pretending to remember someone's name while carefully dodging any sentence where he'd actually have to use it.

"Mikuru Asahina, huh?" The chief said. "Funny you should mention that. Just yesterday, we brought in someone who was bragging about meeting a person who looked just like her. Boy, is he in for a surprise."

"Let's not give the guy a heart attack here," Tsuruya said. "We don't really want out in the open that the for-real-deal Mikuru Asahina is somewhere in this city. I'm sure we can ask about someone who looks like her without raising too much suspicion."

 _That Person's_ ears twitched again. "So this definitely isn't a fantasy any more." She reached for something she'd kept very well hidden, not to mention very sharp. "And that means it definitely won't have a happy ending."

* * *

A/N: There's only one logical direction this story can take now, and that's Tsuruya becoming Batman.


End file.
